


Smoke Eater

by lawfulgayheel



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: 1999, Budding Love, Disabled Character, Internal Monologue, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 03:57:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19349023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawfulgayheel/pseuds/lawfulgayheel
Summary: Two partners struggling to understand each other try to come together in the aftermath of a blood bath.





	Smoke Eater

**Author's Note:**

> you can pry my selectively mute ptsd kane headcanon from my cold dead hands.  
> anyway i'm actually ride or die for kaniel but god xkane hurts me so deep. WWE can say tori was kane's first love until they're blue in the face, but i know better.

Pacing the locker room, Kane’s eye flitted from his tagteam partner to the floor, over and over. There was no reason for him to feel guilty. All he had done was try to protect himself. He heard what everyone else said about his reactions, but how could they understand what it was like, to be in permanent fight or flight mode, yet unwilling to flee proper? He had to strike before he was struck in turn. It wasn’t his fault X-Pac was right there when that rage burned inside of him and he lashed out. What was X-Pac even thinking, sticking so close to him, anyway? If he wasn’t smart enough to run away like everyone else had, he would reap the consequences of playing with fire.

Kane flexed his fingers into aggravated fists. It wasn’t the first time he accidentally hurt the other man. X-Pac just didn’t seem to learn. He was so stubborn, insisting that there was some bond between them through a shared tragedy. As much as it bewildered Kane, he had to admit it softened the blow of Chyna’s betrayal, just a little bit.

Underneath all his anger, Kane found that, maybe, he felt a little grateful, and definitely felt guilty. He wished X-Pac would say something, wished he would yell at him, or call the whole tagteam effort off, or something. Instead, the smaller man sat icing his neck and frowning at the floor.

The longer the silence went, the heavier the burden of Kane’s emotions became. He didn’t know why he was even bothering staying in the room. He had helped his partner to the full extent he could, and his continued presence in the locker room would only keep other people away, people who could actually help, people with more emotional finesse.

Why didn’t X-Pac just order him away already? He was of no use, not to his partner, or to anyone else. The WWF didn’t need the big red machine. They were right about him, he was a danger to himself and others-- mostly others. His whole reason for being there to begin with, to prove himself to the one person that mattered, to live up to his legacy, to maybe even see some pride in his eyes… Well, that person was so far gone, there was no way Kane could reach him, much less be in his good graces. To him, Kane was no more than a weak link to be disposed of. If that one single person didn’t want him anymore, then truly, he lost his place in the WWF.

It’s just, he had nowhere else to go.

Or maybe he did.

Maybe someone still saw that potential, saw that “good” in him.

Maybe Kane needed to spend a little less time being on guard and feeling sorry for himself, and a little more time apologizing for chokeslamming his partner with a history of neck injuries.

He sat on the bench across from his partner, who was still looking sullenly at the ground. Hesitantly, he grabbed X-Pac’s shoulder, regretting his lack of gentleness when the other man jumped. X-Pac’s startled eyes blinked into confusion as Kane began “speaking.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he signed. “I know you were just trying to help. I--” His hands slowed as no change came to X-Pac’s baffled expression.

The man slowly shook his head, “Yeah, I don’t…?” He made a few vague hand gestures.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Kane signing turned frantic, desperate to get his feelings across.

“I don’t understand, uh,” the vague gestures again. “That.”

Anger and helplessness sparked in Kane’s chest. He knew one way he could be sure X-Pac knew what he was trying to say. His massive hands stopped signing, curling into trembling fists. He didn’t want to do it. He had to. If he wanted to salvage their partnership even the slightest bit, he had to. Reaching for the voice box, he suddenly realized that he really, really did want to fix things. He wanted a partner. He wanted a person. He needed X-Pac, and if someone asked him if that was the case a mere five minutes prior, he would’ve said no.

Holding the little mechanical device in his hand, a frustrated self-loathing washed over him. He hated it. He hated it, hated it, hated it. The little metal crutch that became his voice had only ever earned him ridicule, at the hands of his father, the company, the fans. It was a little reminder that he was a machine, a broken, rusted, all used up machine.

“Hey,” X-Pac’s hand covered Kane’s, pushing the voice box down. “You don’t have to, it’s cool. I get it. You’re like, apologizing, yeah? For,” he gestured to his neck.

Yes. Yes! That was it! That was it. Kane nodded a little too eagerly.

“It’s…whatever, man,” he shrugged. “I know you were freaked, but this’s gotta stop. You gotta trust me. I know we both been through some crap, but we’re in this together now,” he grabbed the belt sitting beside him, holding it up for emphasis with his free hand. “I have your back, okay? I need you to have mine, too.” Putting the belt back down, he held up a fist, “We good?”

Kane stared at X-Pac’s hand. Was he really trying to fist bump him? The seven foot monster, straight out of hell?

“Come on, are we good or what?”

Seeing no harm in it, Kane gingerly raised his own fist, brushing it against X-Pac’s.

“Nice,” X-Pac was grinning ear to ear as he bumped his fist back into Kane’s. Then he nodded to Kane’s exposed arm, still stained red from the blood bath, “For real though, dude, you should hit the showers, that shit looks nasty.”

Whoops. He had near forgotten he was covered in blood, the very reason he’d gotten so angry and attacked his partner in the first place. Had X-Pac not reminded him, he probably would have walked out of the arena like that.

__Is this what having a friend feels like?_ _

Standing with a nod, there was no external change to Kane’s appearance, but behind his mask, he was smiling.


End file.
